Do People Unload Their Problems on You? Read This!
One of my biggest pet peeves is people who make their problems my problem. They forgot to do something, or they lost something, or they messed up. Now it's my problem to fix it for them. I used to get so angry when this happened. Then one day it hit me. This is exactly what I have done to God. I have sinned and messed up. And now I am the one going to God and begging Him to help me out. So it turns out that I am no better than anyone else. In the book "The Seer of Remmon," the main character Jolus had to deal with this very same issue.
I am so thankful that God is not like me. He doesn't sit up in heaven waiting to chastise me as soon as I make a mistake. God is not a cosmic bully who loves to pick on puny humans. He is a loving Father who always wants the best for us. We may not even know what is best for us. But He does and He will always do the right thing. It is up to us to trust Him.Having said that, I come back to reality. The fact is that people will continue to make their problemsmy and your problem. There are a couple of ways you can deal with this. First, you can get mad and let your blood pressure go up. You can rail against them and talk about them behind their back. You can grumble and complain. But none of this will change their behavior. This is like sticking a fork in your eye and hoping they will scream in pain. It's just not going to happen.A second thing you could try is to leave your job if that is the problem. Or you might cancel the friendship with that person. You can abandon your church or that club you joined. You can also sell your house and live somewhere else. You might even de-friend them on Facebook or other social sites. You can delete their email and let your calls go to voicemail. But this will only be for a time. It's likely you'll develop another friendship. Then this vicious cycle will commence once more.The fact is that you need to change your thinking in order to stop this problem. Realize right now that you will never be able to change someone else's bad manners. You can scream and cry and gripe all day long but you'll never prevent them from continuing to do what they do and be who they are. Of course a few could change if they had not understood what they were doing. Unfortunately most people will not change. This is just a fact of life.
one of the problems is Those who should be praised often aren't,Altering your attitude is hard. You likely grew up with the idea that life would be fair. Unfortunately life is awfully unfair. Those who should be praised often aren't, and those who should not be praised often are. It is likely that someone who unloaded their issues on you got rewarded for what they did. This backward system is why most people won't change.
It will help us to remember our bond with Jesus and why that bond exists. We were oblivious to our own problems. But God was not oblivious. He came to us and turned our sin problems into His problem. We were ignorant of the fact that we were doomed to an eternity in anguish and pain. But He loved us and sent His Son to live as a perfect human and then give His life on the cross as payment for our sins. At this point we can be back in relationship with God if only we will believe.
I am not altruistic enough to give my life for someone else's problems. Only Jesus was that altruistic. He is the only one that really didn't deserve to have our problems dumped on Him. But He volunteered to take them on. As you move toward adjusting your thinking you can remember that Jesus is always available and He deeply understands your wounds. He will never reprove you for your feelings. He really does understand. And He can help you transform your heart.
It is impossible to change others. But you can change yourself with the Lord's help. Why struggle even one more day with frustration, anger and bitterness over things you can't control?Problems Let them go. Turn to God and find the peace that has been eluding you.
by Norita Sieffert
Norita Sieffert is a published author and speaker with a Master's Degree in Theology. She views life very practically and seeks real solutions to real problems. She is fully committed to Jesus Christ and shares her faith with others having the same struggles she has. To browse her latest Christian fiction titles on Kindle, go to her online bookstore
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